Cold hands, warm shart.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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