I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
