is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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