Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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