Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
