I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
