we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
