I wish I only lived at night.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
