talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
