Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
