At least make sure they are 18
Why
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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