3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
