love makes seman taste better
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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