you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
