Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I will be naked everywhere
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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