she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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