I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
