You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
