I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
