yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
