i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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