New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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