All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm always down for nudity.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
