I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
