In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I wish you could order shots online.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
