I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
