i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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