Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dignity is for republicans.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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