I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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