what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
