Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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