This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
and she was petting her beer can
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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