was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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