Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
