Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
