capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
