just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
