I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
