Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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