Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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