If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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