I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
