is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
