RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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