I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
