And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
pray to the hookup gods
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
