Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
