PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
