Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
