Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
