I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
