We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
