i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
3pm strippers are depressing
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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