I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
