Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
