singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
