My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm passing your future prison.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My liver is preforming stress tests.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
