I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
