READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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